Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Ethane Exporter Says U.S. Won’t Allow Shipments to China - WSJ

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can count

I don’t buy bullshit

What is it like to use a Fleshlight?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I actually pay taxes

Why are Republican politicians so afraid to oppose Trump?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fakery

Newark Airport to open its shuttered runway Monday, 13 days ahead of schedule - NBC News

I see through liars

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Trump administration’s deep cuts to public health leave system reeling - PBS

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Not Breaking Up With Dakota Johnson Following Chris Martin Split - The Daily Beast

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Enhanced Box Score: Cubs 2, Reds 0 – May 31, 2025 - Bleacher Nation

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

The Ocean Is Getting Darker, Threatening All That Lives Within - ScienceAlert

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Nonreciprocal light speed control achieved using cavity magnonics device - Phys.org

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why do American conservatives say that America is a constitutional republic and not a democracy? Would it not make sense to call America a constitutional republican democracy?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Is T-Mobile secretly recording your phone's screen? How to check and turn it off - ZDNET

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can read

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t cotton to rapists

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade